Harmony....

A beautiful summer night that has been filled with emotions of attraction, lust, and fantasies. We've spoke on it but "me" and "her" haven't taken steps towards actually making it a reality. I don't dwell on it because it will seem as if that's all that's on my mind or that's all that I want her for. Time passes and we grow fonder and mixing water and other compounds with concrete couldn't build a bond any stronger. So I slowly kiss her cheek and pull away, she turns and stares in my eyes deeply. She screams without words "I want you", so she comes 60 and I go the other 40(the kiss). As her voluptuous silky soft lips caress mines, my heart rate increases 10 fold. So I pull away and kiss a trail from her lips to her ear and from her ear to her neck. I vary my actions from soft biting to kissing to sucking to nibbling while doing this I draw another invisible trail from her neck to her chest. I focus on her nipples but not too long cause I wanna show her that she is mine. So I began to lip sing all over her body grazing my lips across every visible part of her like a herd of hungry cows. Then I spread her legs and kiss, nibble, suck, and lick some more. Her leg trembles and she pushes me away and returns the favor to me. Once our eyes meet again we engage in fierce controlled kiss and I lay her down while never loosing contact with her supple lips. Then Slowly I penetrate and she gasps while firmly sticking her nails in my back and I moan as she does. Harmony is the key to passion, and moving in the same motions makes what going on a beautiful song. Is this what she wanted?

Holding On....

Like a penguin egg: my heart, feelings and honest thoughts are sheltered... I've traveled down that road before and like the same side of a magnet my feelings just won't go that way... Is it a mind thing? Have I trained myself to be enclosed in a cocoon selfishness because of the fear of disappointment, heartbreak, or a violation of trust? Although I miss the beauty of a thoughtless kiss, or a conversation so good that it rivals a vacation.. There's something that's between us that I can't or should I dare say that I don't want to fight... Love to me is a fairy tale that we grew up hearing about in all shapes, sizes, stories, and soliloquies .... I can't definitively say that I have experienced it but then again I think that it is the sole reason why I am the way I am... Now resistance to your ways, words, (love)war tactics, are breaking me down... and I kinda like it... I feel bad that I have to end it because I have to keep my word to myself and not let anyone in again... So am I contradicting myself because I did say love to me was a fairy tale, so how could I be becoming a part of what I feel is make believe? My emotions are acidic and basic, which don't mix because their on complete opposite sides of the spectrum but that is the extent of how I'm feeling about you and this... So I guess the question I wanna know the answer to is "should anything before you even matter?"

Confessions of a breaking heart..... Thru her eyes...

When we first met it was everthing I was looking for... I even ignored and pushed aside other things that struck my fancy, because what was in my face was so engulfing that all else seemed null and void... Yea I had my wants but didn't care, his natural scent became my oxygen, his eyes became my weather: when he cried it rained, when he was away from me it was cold, when he was happy it was an autumn afternoon.. Telling me that my life didn't include him would get even my best friend excommunicated.. My heart was his and I "think" he felt the same... (time passes) 
Now that we're moving apart he doesn't want to stay with me and my mind won't function, my eyes won't focus, my body move... (my thought process) I gotta move fast because I can't lose him I won't lose him! So I agree to fall back and "just chill"... So nothing changes we still have the same routine and he still feels like mine just wit no strings attatched... I play it cool but resistence isn't one of my strengths and I bring up "titles" and like clockwork he pulls away again this time, but instead of my plan working again he replaces me with another(tramp)... Now his words are harsh and actions even harsher.. I did nothing but express my want and this is what I get in return? "I refuse to let you go" I redundantly repeat to him as if it will show him his worth in my heart! But now his shoulder is colder and words scarce... Now what do I do? At that moment I had a revelation! I'll bring to him the gift of life without actually having it! He can't disprove, but he'll fall back in love and make me number one again... Empty are his words now, and closed are his ears.. Nothing seems to work and the picture he painted with his feelings is a frameless extinct thought that is the epitome of "you mean nothing" but yet I still hold on as if knowing the girl he's with makes him happy is a figment of my imagination and my heart is still with him.... Tell me why?    

Cold...

So it's been some years, and I can say confidently that "I love you".. But then I immediately feel guilty from the misleading phrase I expressed to you.. Don't get me wrong I meant that, but not how you took it.. My heart is elsewhere, no not with a person or anything else, it's just not with you.. Time says we should be together but actions and emotions and feelings scream otherwise... I cheated... I'm sorry that I hurt you and pray you forgive me... But your kisses aren't soft anymore, your words aren't kind, your actions aren't enthusiastic... Hers were.. No I don't apologize for doing it and I don't feel bad but hurting you is not something that makes me glad.. Me and her rarely speak now and rightfully so.. She wanted more than those "moments" of pleasure and my heart mind, body and soul said no... But back to you, or us, or this, or whatever it has become, all that I know now is we can't, no we won't go on... *shrugs* that's life....

In case you didn't know...

Before I'm gone let me say "I love you".... I came first you came next.. At that time I didn't know that you would be the best thing to ever happen to me.. You kept me sane made me think deeper, see both sides unbaisedly.. Nothing and I mean nothing could replace the bond we have.. Without you I wouldn't have the skills necessary to be who I am! You are the concrete mixture to the strong foundation I built as a man and for that there's nothing I have that you can't... Now to you, a second mother in a younger form... Many things you foreignly  taught me weren't accepted because I didn't know... Busy being hard headed and rebellious, I (kid)hated you so much that I only remember the evilness you stinched of to me... But guidance isn't always what you want as much as it is what you need and your level of understanding and recognition is beyond beautiful, it's gorgeous and should be copyrighted... And I can't even start this next part without wiping my face.. Bruss although you ain't see me I saw you... I mimiced your walk, style, smoothness, I even wanted a stutter just like you.. I loved you more than I could show... We weren't the closest of them all but I did some of things you did just to feel that comfort of you sayin "what's up lil bruss".. I miss you homie and shed tears thinkin about how much you meant to me.. Um glad my last words to you were "I love you" even tho we laughed and played it off I meant that with everything I had in me!!! It's only too late when it's over but acknowledgement is a cover that warms every heart...