Cold...

So it's been some years, and I can say confidently that "I love you".. But then I immediately feel guilty from the misleading phrase I expressed to you.. Don't get me wrong I meant that, but not how you took it.. My heart is elsewhere, no not with a person or anything else, it's just not with you.. Time says we should be together but actions and emotions and feelings scream otherwise... I cheated... I'm sorry that I hurt you and pray you forgive me... But your kisses aren't soft anymore, your words aren't kind, your actions aren't enthusiastic... Hers were.. No I don't apologize for doing it and I don't feel bad but hurting you is not something that makes me glad.. Me and her rarely speak now and rightfully so.. She wanted more than those "moments" of pleasure and my heart mind, body and soul said no... But back to you, or us, or this, or whatever it has become, all that I know now is we can't, no we won't go on... *shrugs* that's life....