Graduation...

Lost in adolescence he veered off track, lured in by the easiness of contentment and the facade of "it should be handed to him". The quick sand nature of complacency drug his slump on longer than he was willing to acknowledge.... Time passes and the realization of the vastness of opportunities he had watched flow by caught his attention and imagination...  He awoke from a dream and saw that he was the same boy he was yesterday, nauseated from the stench of underachievement he took a step towards the window as he had been doing, listening to the birds sing the same happy tunes and the voices that always told him of his actual worth... But he turns his back again to walk away as he always has, but not back to the bed. To the door he heads not knowing what life holds beyond that threshold of comfortability.... Timorous he walks into the smokescreen of uncertainty ready to go toe to toe with whatever steps in his ring, conquering all the things he once doubted he could stand up against, letting things go that he felt was cemented in him.... He now knows that possibilities only go as far as one is willing to "dream"... Sheds his tears, rids himself of pettiness and engulfs his thoughts with positivity..... He is a man.... He is ready... 

What matters....

She doesn't like a man of soul, because of the violations endured at his "type"'s expense. She doesn't like a man whom's physicality is his strong suit because of the games he played with her outside of the ones that use his talents. She doesn't like a man with soothing words because of the things she has been told that weren't proven to be true.... She doesn't like a man with little intelligence because he doesn't have the knowledge to keep her attention... She doesn't like a manwith too much intelligence because she thinks he will belittle her.... So lost in her confusion I begin to battle all the challenges she has set forth.. I can't change my roots and she knows.... I won't get lazy so I helsp her work out an'd build self confidence.... I can't change my personality but I'll show her more than I will tell.... I can't lose my mind but we'll make decisions "together" because she walks BESIDE me... Now her attention is all mine... Clarity comes when the answers are sought and love comes when effort becomes habitural

Understand? Or not...

Foreign colors highlight a benign reality skewered by this new entity of adolescent attraction... Though maturity is very prevalent, ignoring the fact that all senses are being appealed to is a task only the cold hearted would be able to perform. A land of impossibilities is where their mind resides now, they can literally lay on a cloud and enjoy the beauty in which they have come to know as "falling in love", they can build a dream house in an hour free of charge and live 20 years in just that moment of eye contact.... Beyond what they have learned thus far nothing can compare to this flawless accumulation of two fond hearts.. Others don't understand because they've never seen this "fantasy" love world in which these two have created but isn't that the very core of the essence in which love derives? The understanding of each other, and the irrelevance of anything outside of that? Isn't it the mystery of love that makes it so desirable and scary?  

Communication or lack thereof....

Dried tears tattoo my face as I reflect motionless in my bed staring at the ceiling, making shapes that resemble your face from the little pricklies that stick out of it... I replay the moment that you demolished what we had with the words "baby I have something to tell you"... Knowing that what followed that conversation starter would be the worse news our relationship ever heard I reluctantly asked "what happened babe?"... Sarcastically, I listen intensely like I don't know you're about to describe how you violated the trust that I bestowed in you wholeheartedly without hesitation... Then you began to speak and before you got the first word out my ears filled with some kind of substance that made your words sound like a tv with the volume on zero and no captions... I just knew that you cheated and didn't wanna hear how it went down so I emotionlessly stared in your eyes while you talked never looking at your lips so I couldn't hear or read what you saying... Eyes get blurry from too many tears built up and now I can't even see you clearly.. I leave saying nothing or even acknowledging you... Never actually listening to what you said after the convo starter, I proceed to the "heartbreak" process and begin beating myself up mentally about what it was that I did to make you feel like you had to stray.... Time passes and out of curiosity I ask "what really happened" and you say "I just wanted to tell you that I love you and wanna take it to the next level"..... Damn..... Insecurities..... Communication is the master key to the success of relationships... Do you get it? 

Repeat.....

Genuinely he embarks on releasing himself into a dead end type of love... Again.... Not knowing that it will be the same type of repercussion as a result of a different but very much alike action... Giving so much to receive a little is the headline of all things (in love) rendered, but his unselfishness never let's him see that when he doesn't make himself important enough to be FIRST then she won't either... So into emotional limbo he goes right after "she" was the hand that helped him out(or did she?)... Here they go again cliche-ly moving about thru the argumentative and stressful part of a relationship, she more pushy than he but they both still have something so they don't kill it. They distantly hold on to a crumbling emotion that's catching every air current that passes... He tries again and is rejected.... Why is there so much "he" and very little "she"? Or vis versa? Did he ever really return from his past hurt or was it just recycled by her? Love? Or a temporary replacement for what was had in the past? Some things can't be answered but on the contrary if you research there will always be an answer..

Affection...

From an adolescent he was shown that the only way one knows what is felt has to be expressed... From random pointless hugs, to playful push away cheek kisses... Groomed now into an age of slight immaturity and knowlegeability he still feels that expressing his feelings and showing his affection is a "must".... But he quickly Learns that not everyone knows the awesomeness that is affection nor what it is like to hear, feel, and touch LOVE at the same time... The oxymoronic chills that you get from the warmth of it, trumps anything ever felt before and the more chances you get to experience it the better it gets... It has an adaptiveness that analogizes with mankind itself and is an amazing wonder to witness in it's true form... Heartbreak ensues and he is awe struck that all attempts to show how he felt were if not completely ignored, strongly dis appreciated.... Time passes he maturates and wants to be cold but his ways are embedded and can't be wavered by even the worse of heart violations.. He becomes patient and learns that it will come in due time(real love) and it has it's faults which is why it is a human trait... Acceptance and understanding underline what he makes of anything he encounters and now he is a man... Do you believe in growth? Do you think he has mastered maintaining his "core"? Does affection mean anything? Is it everything?