Adjust Accordingly....

Different do things I... Sharing the same "specifics" as another man simply wont suffice..
I don't push to be different I just present my "prizes" with preciseness and unequaled persistence...
I can configure myself to commit and create a considerably great relationship without corrosion(baggage)....
I adjust my feelings and attitude according to your actions, aura, and acceptance of who I am..
But thats enough alliteration, let me get to my point...
I am what "YOU" want me to be, I am what you make me be, and I am what you create..
Having said that, When you lie I act like everything you say is a lie until I feel that you are believable again...
When you do things that you wouldn't want me doing, I don't get mad at your double standard I just record it until you come slick then I throw it in your face until you realize how wrong you are...
When you don't show appreciation for the small or big things I will take them away and won't give em back until I feel that you are truly and genuinely showing appreciation for what I do...
When all we do is have sex, I'm going to place my feelings aside and give you nothing but my body no excess kisses, rubs, caresses, cuddling, extra convo, nothing but penis, and mouth if I feel its necessary lol (JK)...
You see... Every move I make is dictated by you and your actions, so when the question "why are you acting like this" arises there will be no surprises...
Adjustments are made to accommodate the dissatisfactory of the product that is given....

I apologize...

Well... I guess this is goodbye.. Not see you later or "until the next time"... The words we just said aren't those of the nature one would want to forgive... But I already do.. Forgive you of course, it's all because I don't understand how one can say they have these feelings and show something else... Our relationship became a routine, something we did because that's what we had been doing and the anticipation of what was next for us disappeared... There were few smiles and plenty frowns, a little ups with a higher ratio of downs... I love you to life but I feel as if I'm just the body that you make love to and not  the soul u once connected to... I feel hollow when I think of you or hear your name.. So having said that was I ever in love?? I don't care if you've moved on or who you're with... I feel no emotion when a story regarding you is being told... I don't get butterflies when I see you or feel the need to make sure I don't look a mess... I don't think of you often, I don't wonder what if, I don't get sad when I hear the song we proclaimed "ours"... Smh... I feel bad that i let us have "post-relationship dealings" and don't tell you that you're just here to keep me from being a "man whore"... Cold?? Maybe but "was I ever in love"?? I don't think so and I sure don't feel anything now and I thought "love" of any kind was forever... I apologize...    

Don't get me wrong...

How unfair of me to be so double standardish, Now I must take a page out of my own book and slow my roll..
Cause truly I feel that I can't have fake feelings, so I must sift thru what I'm thinking before i pay that toll...
I wanna tell you how your voice soothes me like an old school feel good slow jam, and how you remind me of good old times like sitting in the back room watching Nickelodeon eating sandwiches filled with mayo and spam..
Na don't get it twisted tho I'm far from love and um just past in like with you, but I feel like I wanna put cake on your face and lick it of til you tingle and tell me that you want me...
No it's not all about this sexual thing but if we take it there I hope that you understand where um coming from, what I would do won't be the same(as what you are used to)...
You won't remember what happened but you will be left with an empty feeling and want me to come and fill it back up, its gone be deep and yes that pun was intended just so you have an idea..
It'll all start from an innocent kiss(peck), and until I feel that you have gotten used to my lips softly touching yours I won't budge cause i want us to be in sync like microsoft...
Then I'll grab the back of your neck gently while I kiss the other side like I missed it and it has been a while...
I'll pause then move back to the micro-pillows you have on your face and sync our electricity back up so that you know where um tryna go...
Then I'll kiss a pathway from your "micro-pillows" to your belly button and then shoot my attention to your pelvic area but not doing things that I don't feel "WE" are ready for...
Now don't get me wrong but these shades of love making I can't hide, and I had to stop right there before you took what I was saying and thinking the wrong way..
I know that you not to that level of feelings with me and nor am I you, but I think that what we could do would make the ground shake...
I wanna get lost and show you my hidden talents that I only bring when its game time...
But before I go on I must know what you feel about the things I ponder on? Can we make love without having those kind of feelings towards each other? Can you handle my passions? Will you let me take you out of this world?
But please, pretty please don't get me wrong...

Trapped...

So it starts just like any other good thing would: Late night convos, early morning sweet nothing texts, that anticipation of seeing em the next time.... And you know that develops into a serious talking stage right before the "boyfriend/Girlfriend" stage, cause you know you gotta sift out all of the old chicks you was still "kickin" it with. So you now you commit after you've quit all your bullshitting cause you ready to show her that its all about her what you wanna build. So now its a full pledge relationship and you showing your real colors: Favorite snack and drinks to her job, Cooking, romantic dates, the greatest epic passionate sex, giving up access codes because you have nothing to hide, Drifting away from yo boys, everything you tried to portray that you wouldn't. And more and more everyday you begin to feel and notice that your love isn't the same as hers, you notice that her kisses don't match your passion, her hugs don't feel warm, her eyes have no emotion, and you tough so it's easy to put it in the back of the closet cause you know that you don't have to see because its covered up by a lot of things.. But now she's doing things out of character like putting her phone in her pocket and checking it when you know it didn't ring, taking showers before she comes to see you when she gets off work, noticeable things that make you wonder but just feeling that she might still love you makes you put on some blinders and pretend that you don't notice..... So now she picks retarded arguments and comes up ridiculous reasons to not come see you or meet you anywhere, but you don't trip cause just feeling that she might still love you, you make yourself believe what she says... So now its over and you find out that she was letting a nigga undermine your relationship and entertaining him in ways that are fightable offenses.. But you don't trip cause you know that you still have something for her and you don't wanna do anything to harsh to mess that up just cause you feel that she might still love you... Trapped in your own smokescreen of "love" makes you do things that you wouldn't do if you were looking at yourself do them.. It hurts like hell to see what you want taken away or given away or even what you want choosing someone else... So how do you get out of that trap...?? And how do you not act calast to what might happen in the future..? How do you go back to all the things you used to do without fear of disappointment...? How do you not be an asshole when that's what the girls you want are attracted to..?? He's trapped in a current of mixed emotions.... What would you do..??

Funny how baised we are without realizing it... "WE" as a whole never see situations that involve us from both perspectives especially when our feelings are attatched... It's easier to point the finger than it is to accept that you are apart of the wrong doing... So if we listen or shut up for just 3 seconds longer we will have that much more understanding of the problems we face and the ppl we face them with...

Misunderstanding

Soooooo now we don't speak.... And this is right after our relationship hit its peak...
It's cool cause um not gone sweat you... Although you wouldn't be so nonchalant if you knew...
That deep down inside I hold you high on my "feelings" scale... But I refuse to show weakness cause although I'm different I'm still a male...
So I play cool and never speak of my hurt... But foolishly I bend my own rules and on my scale I give only you a curve...
And now um really gettin in deep into my hidden feelings... And again like clockwork with me you slow your dealings...
Now I find myself forcing me to be calus towards feelings.. All because I redundantly chose to ignore the things you were showing
You, you, you, you, you really don't know what you have created.. You let me try so hard and all the time I put in was just energy wasted...
Hold up, why should I feel so negatively for feelings that everyone longs for... Is it so wrong to do the right things and always choose the safe door...
Well...
Now it's over and when I see you there's nothing... Not anger, fear, regret, hate, happiness, or care...
So I guess that means you didn't waste my time after all. Cause now you not even an after thought or thought of for a holiday call...
I guess I misunderstood what my feelings were.. And now looking back with my misunderstanding I must concur...
No love gained no love lost gained.... The only L word I got from you was a lesson....
And for that I must say thank you..

Love...

Love is like snowflakes you will never see the same kind twice... It is widely misused and misunderstood... One thing I've come to learn is that love has no time limit, no specific guidelines that have to be followed and no age limitations... It happens when it wants to, it is the lone emotion that cannot be controlled... It always wins no matter how you fight it or the precautions you take... So please believe me when I say love is a powerful thing and shouldn't be taken lightly...